I have made Peace, Piece by Piece

AJ RayBan

Some of the existential dilemmas that have plagued me till I made peace with self…..

“What do you do?”

Well! the answer to this question has undergone so many changes over the years – Software Professional, Home-Maker ( That wonderful word ), Mom and now a Daily Dispenser of Random Thoughts on world at large. For the first time yesterday, I used the word “Writer” to describe my vocation! Phew! that pompous self boost, immediately put an invisible halo around me. The tale that I spun in 15 minute flat out of sheer boredom, found all round  resonance. It was my moment of epiphany. The bliss I experience when my thoughts fructify into a neatly laid out tale and the aphrodisiac power of likes!!  So I’m gonna stick with the writer tag for a while. All the poor unsuspecting lovely readers, please be aware that you have been forewarned. That’s settled for a while now, then. Writer I am!

“Why doesn’t he care for me as much as I do?”

Love yourself the most, love him to the fullest and set him free. Get busy. Who needs sex when you can have success. Gives you a far greater high! Mind you, he will come running back. Satya Vachan! There is no one sexier than glowing from with in woman. So My alter-ego and I love each other..Much.. and are at peace.

“Why don’t I have a flat tummy?”

‘Waise bhi perfection ko improve karna mushkil hota hai’  the tiny AK-47 has already said. I have tried all sorts of isms and therapies. All these efforts have resulted in flattening curves in much coveted and unwanted areas thereby making the jiggles all the more prominent. So I have given up my fight and simply say “Its my badge of honor – I am a mommie!” Pitiful looks or sarcastic comments be damned. Top that huh?

“Why don’t my near ones appreciate the yeoman efforts I put in in spite of my busy(?) schedule?”

Well it always works both ways. How many times do we appreciate and say thank you? Every little cog in this wheel matters. When ‘I’ becomes the most important alphabet in the equation, it’s already doomed. It is always better to talk it out than fret. If that doesn’t work then Get busier, be bone tired and brain fried. No scope for any energy draining  thoughts to slow you down.

“Will my children care for me as much as I do for them now when I’m old and shriveled ?”

What’s the guarantee that you gonna make it till old age with the freaky frightening stories that you keep hearing all around? Have more trust in your upbringing and the values you have passed on to your children. You have done a great job as a mommie, so hope floats eternally. Remember children love you loads.

Till then keep pouring some smalls and make it large.

Live life queen size.



Anyu, the upwardly mobile technocrat, had few idiosyncrasies of her own. She firmly believed that future predictions in the papers were the gospel truth, not to be tampered with. Her day and mood depended on those wise words. If the forecast was good, she was genial towards the creator, her employer, her immediate family, in that order. And God forbid, if the prophecy said “watch out!”, it was period of great stress and unhappiness. If it was a sunday, God save the poor family. The tone of the ensuing week was entirely dependent on that anonymous reader of fate.

On this particular sunday, Anyu rose early to figure out what the Gods had intended for her. “Please, Please God, Let it be a good beginning to the week ahead”, prayed anyu as she opened the sunday supplements to check her weekly horoscope.

” A cold war is likely to ensue with spouse, on the home front. You must keep an eye on the cash flow, lest your savings vanish into a bottomless pit”. read her weekly divination. Oh! thousand typhoons were about to descend on this earth.

Anyu sat wordlessly, staring at the wall in front. What would she do now? An entire week of bickering and spending, to look forward to?  Needless to say, her mood was flatter than the flattest of beers.

As if on cue, husband dearest, walked in. All fresh from his morning jog, waiting to seize the week. He piped in cheerily. “What is the Sunday Special? A man becomes ravenously hungry after pounding the gravel, you know. I am sick of eating all that health junk, through the week! What gastronomic treats, are we in, for today?”

Anyu snapped back at him. “What good has that morning jog done to you? You run miles but no inches lost, It is that health food that is keeping your HDLs and LDLs down. So don’t mock my cooking. So much of oily stuff  was consumed during this holiday season. We need trim ourselves and our expenses. So it is plain old Khichdi for lunch!”

The hapless husband did not know when to stop. Though Anyu had dropped enough hints, he still chugged along bravely. He piped in, rather recklessly,” Oh Yes darling, I agree that My Miles has not given me any Inch loss, But I can see that you are turning out to be a well rounded personality” and with that comment he burst out laughing. Oh Boy!!

Anyu glared at him and stomped away angrily. Was that the  beginning of a glacial cold war?

Hapless Husband wondered, “What exactly, had happened here? All I did was, to ask, what was on the menu! This angry outburst! This walk out !! this thundering silence!! All this wasn’t the agenda of a happy sunday…”

He thought of mending the fences and followed the wife. After all, She was his Mary and he was her little lamb. He helpfully countered,”Honey! Is it, that time of the month?”

Oh!!!! famous last words…

Anyu burst into tears saying,” Why are you so flippant? Why do you always come up with silliest of comments? When will you ever understand?” With these words, she ran into the master bedroom and closed the door..

While the husband stared into space blankly, wondering how did things become so sour and that too so suddenly, the daughter who was pretending to be absorbed in her studies, chipped in,” Papa, a gourmet lunch followed by the latest block buster movie will surely cheer Mom up ”

Now the poor husband was willing to do anything, just have peace, to bring back the smile on Anyu’s face, to enjoy his Sunday lunch, to get things back to status quo…He quickly logged in, made reservations for lunch as well as for the movie. He had to pay a premium. Weekend rates, you see!!!. He then knocked on the bedroom door gingerly, and announced the good news.

Anyu came out beaming. “Darling, you did all that for me? Aren’t you the very best!Im so thrilled. Honey, there is a sale going on, in the same mall. Can we pick up some stuff? After all, it is lean season. We would save a trip later. Afterwards, the malls would be full of trawlers. While we are at it, let us buy some gifts for our friends too. After all they bring us so many. Don’t forget to bring the credit cards. I will get ready in a jiffy. Both of you get cracking. Ok?”

“Cold war? Blah! Expenses? Blah Blah!!, These forecasters will write anything. Thanks to husband dearest, Sunday is turning out to be splendid”

And smiling happily, Anyu began to get ready

The Big Rant Ahoy !


If someone off chance were to ask me, “How is it going?” My typical answer would be ..
“Haa! Like for today, while Hmmm_hubby and children(?) are still in snooze land, I am already up. I though, took the liberty of waking up at eight. Now dont say it’s too late!! I managed to see the Sun na!
I made a cup of coffee, sorted the laundry, called veggies guy for a home delivery, quick-glanced the weekend glossies(same old same old). Prodigal son has returned for few hours demanding the slaughter of the fat fat cow ( is it kosher any more?).
So pots and pans are going to be my best friends for a good couple of hours.
Oh Wait, I have to take 2 classes while Sambar simmers on the stove.
Daughter has upped the ante seizing the moment. So her list has to be catered.
Oh dear, I have to call my mom too. But she always understands. So that call can wait.Then I hope to catch my fave flick on telly, in the evening.
Hmmm lemme arrange for dinner before that. Some snacks and colas for munching. Oh hell, I have to submit a story like yesterday and that blog !! Oopsie. Now the existential dilemma! Will the maid arrive? When she does and if she does.. I will have to give her malai chai.
I have to youngify self too. Too many white strands peeping out. Chalo kaun dekhne waala hai. We are like this only. Forget this daily drama, lemme Facebook to calm myself…
Putting all this humdrum to verse will it make it worse?”
And it goes on and on..
By the time my big rant finishes, the poor soul, hoping to disappear into thin air, would be cursing that very moment, when she /he decided to do small talk …
Being brave doesn’t work!
Parenting no doubt is an overwhelmingly daunting project. The trouble starts when we let it get under our skin.
Parenting is a daily project. Sometimes everything is sorted and somedays everything seems to fall apart.
The children, the wonderful glue of a happy family, will somehow always manage to rise the occasion whenever the situation demands. Most often, they understand what is expected of them and flower beautifully.
When the going gets tough, don’t lose hope as yet. Just have the faith and invest in your children your time and your total and complete love.
The returns are the incomparable bone crushing hugs and saliva dripping smoochies.
Now that’s a fantastic trade-off worth all the effort