D – Dilli isms Unplugged

Some Sadda ‘Upper Class Dilli’isms for the uninitiated

With Tongue firmly in cheek, with malice towards one and all

1) The one that tops the list now and forever is “Jaanta Nahin Mera Baap Kaun Hai?” (Translation – Don’t you know who my father is?)

Arre bhaisaab, (oh Brother) when you yourself aren’t familiar with such delicate issues, who are we to comment on your lineage? Names Dropping is the name of the game

2) Butter Chicken –  It is THE national dish of Dilli. Moti Mahal ki Kasam.( some hoary promise) Chicken headed any one? Don’t chicken out on this one.

3) In icy wintry weddings, our ladies don’t feel cold. Period. The shawls are for old buddy duddies. The wispy Sarees defy gravity and the barely there blouses plunge necklines. No flattening ever on this cleavage challenge. Goose pimples on the smooooooth back be damned. Put on the latest Yo-Yo number and watch us Shimmy and break the floor.  If you aren’t wearing enough bling to blind the entire country, you are a dummy!

4) We are always fashionably late for all occasions. IST means Indian Stretchable Time. Dig? Just two minutes honey!!

5) We love Big. Cars, Diamonds! Bigger the better. Bling it on. We have more cars per family than  family members

6) When we go out, our maid travels with us (We are all for the egalitarian society, you see) nicely settled in the back seat while we navigate honky donkeys and fellow idiots. Who is having the last laugh huh?

7) When we party, we let the world know! And How! Play on the Mujik at Full Volume. Punjabi beat only Paaji

8) We always go abroad for our vacations(sheesh Just Imagine Indian Holidays! Even our drivers don’t do that!) and fashionably support some weepie NGO to suppress the guilt

9) We only sport iPhone 6s – Gold at that 😉 Are there more brands on the horizon?Seriously?

10) We love air kissing! Mwah Mwah Babieeeh

11) In the morning when we drop our kiddos at the bus stop, our entire outfit is color coordinated with a not a hair out of place. But we have to tolerate some idiots amongst us ( like yours truly) whose Hideous T and Pathetic Pjs cover the entire color spectrum and that hair! defying gravity! sheesh. Mind you, we have the unique capacity social slot lesser beings when we eye-scan them head to toe.

12) Of course Our children will be graduating from Back home from USA. Indian Univs suck you know

13) Traffic Rules? What are those? We only practice Road Rage

14) Last but not the least the tradition of De Dabba Le Dabba of Diwali! Is there any other way? Who says we are poor?

But We are Like this! Grin and Bare