Facebooking-oh Zuckerberg! You have us all marked


AJ RayBan

Facebook, My Friend, the Omnipresent and Ubiquitous Social Networking Site, was developed by Mark Zuckerberg in his dorm. It now has become our way of life.

I do one thing best in life and that is face booking.

Years of doing this, has helped me figure out the various types of Facebook users.

I may be perfectly wrong but that is age catching up and muh brain wilting, you see!

1) Top of the heap has to be the Forum Fury waalas/waalis. They are upset about global warming, forest fires, female infanticide, women’s rights, depleting animal population, wrong depiction of the fairer sex. Etc. You get the general drift. This fury is a good thing actually. Especially for literate Philistines like Moi, these knowledge posts help in expanding my rather limited mental horizons and stay update.

2) Following closely the first group are these highly Emotional Melodramas who vomit their every volatile feeling, online, almost every instant. It could be work related separation from husband, their latest gourmet creation, a fight with pet cat, passing away of hollywood’s 40’s star or plain old diarrhea of their child.  Nothing is too less not to be shared.

3) Feeling ecstatic with XYZ and 49 others. Now this is a very Groupie group. You could be tagged along with 49 others to feel ecstatic for a variety of reasons. Exercise marathon in the local gym, Nursery school admission or a Seva ceremony. The best way to remain sane is to simply untag yourself.

4) The Know All Judgemental Ones. Most of the forums have these erudite ones, who have ready answers for all our vexing questions and have nothing but disdain for those who do not come up to their high moral standards. God save those blithering plebeians. These wise ones have moulds in cast iron and one needs to fit them to pass muster.

( I have a feeling, I’m a groupie 4! My this bordering on over smartness post is a sure testimony. What say?)

5) Then there are those – Been There Done That and now I have to suffer this callow inexperienced idiot – types! The sheer ennui they have towards the lesser endowed, has to be seen to be believed. They have one survival mantra. “Just chill me Na! or Take a chill pill Honey”, which on hindsight is a great advice to live by.

Somehow I get the feeling, Dear Reader, I am going to get that advice from you.

6) Every one has One such Friend who insists on sharing all 207 photos of their recent trip to Scotia Nova. You better Like, No Love, all of them. She will return the favor right, when you upload your pics? The aphrodisiac power of Likes!

7) A slightly not so cool group which insists on sharing the Shiva and the Jesus messages with a rider of Press 1 like = 100000 blessings or something like that. No glad tidings here. Stay Safe

8) Then there are various Contest Participants who apart from writing earth shattering stuff, need to also gather stratospheric eyeballs. They will share the URL and then ping you personally or message you to like, share, comment. Yours truly is also guilty as charged.

Hey favors taken will have to be favors returned.

9) Some people have such a Happening Life on Facebook. They check in at every mall, pub, restaurant, parlor, supermarket, giving away their location at every event.

Not very safe. Me? I’m just checking!

FB you see, is a great addiction. But seriously, If you don’t safeguard your profile, all and sundry would be writing on your wall and sending you friendship requests!

Facebook is a great handy tool. It depends on you, how you use it and make the best of it.

14 thoughts on “Facebooking-oh Zuckerberg! You have us all marked

  1. I think there is one from each group in my friend list but I am unable to locate my group….me ,confused soul as ever. 😃Nice write up 👌

    Liked by 1 person

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