Early Morning Blues – Nothing Funny about this! But(t) Seriously!!

Every Sunday, without fail, in TOI, a GyanGuru will enlighten us on how he/she kickstarts the day/week.

Eternally thankful to be alive and one with the God wala jazz

These pieces set me thinking, “What about me?”

Here, the day kicks me to start and fire up.

Precisely at 6:12 am, a zillion alarms go off, creating a racket enough to wake up an army. Except me ..

After the repeat of the same aforesaid cacophony called alarm, which sounds like an armageddon afoot somewhere, I manage to arrive in this wicked world away from my comforting snooze land.

By this time, precious fifteen minutes have simply vamoosed away.

I do end up remembering God, but definitely not in so many flattering terms.

My weakened and dull brain cells then remember that darling dotty needs to go to school and there are hardly thirty minutes left. And that hits me and now I’m a woman on a murderous mission.

I shake my zonked out dotty, simulating an earthquake. She peers through one eye, turns and snores again. I yank her out of the bed and push her into the bathroom.

She bawls, I holler.

Milk is split. Bread is slathered with some whitish spread.

Water puddles are formed while the bottle is filled.

She manages to wear the skirt while I push the banana down her throat.

We zip up, comb, tie laces while we make the 100 meter dash to the bus stop.

Who said there is no olympic talent in India. Catch her ilk and train them hard.

Bolt ki kasam. Saare medals hamare!

We finally arrive in a single huffing piece and she boards the bus, flaunting a beatific smile.

And I am bushed beyond compare

But Mission Accomplished!

Oh yeah! At this moment, I feel one with the God!

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