Exam season is upon us in NCR.
A season when some mothers go absolutely ballistic, wanting to make sure that their children become the shining super stars! Aka toppers of the class!
The sad thing about that position is that usually, there can only be one topper. The rest have to settle somewhere in that triangle of abilities.
But being the second best is no good you see!
“We only remember Neil Armstrong, the first man on moon! Who remembers the second man on the moon?” goes the argument..
Agreed, a loving mother would always want the very best for her child. In their endeavor to see their child topping the heap, sometimes, committed mothers go all out.
They plan the entire day’s schedule, including the time allocated for loo breaks. Mobiles are confiscated, power meals are planned. Internet and TV suddenly become out of bounds. Playtime becomes highly restricted. Exam timetables are whatssapped in triplicate to tutors and teachers are hounded with unending mails.
It is a mission, you see!
As an educator and as an admin of an academic forum of Facebook, I have seen the lengths the parents go, to make their children, super winners.
While all this is very heartening, it is actually a very fine line not to cross!
When we cross that, we forget the damage we cause to those little hearts.
Sometimes to escape this never-ending, minute scrutiny, the children take to lying. Not at all a happy situation because trust should be the underlying factor for any thriving relationship.
A heartfelt request to all moms out there –
Please do not criticize/berate/make fun/discredit your child in front of his/her tutors/teachers. Put yourself once in their shoes and see how small you would feel, if someone were to do the same to you. Please boost their confidence and become the wind beneath their wings. Please do not give them the spiel about the enormous monies spent on their education or the comforts you provide or how hard you had to work to reach where you are now. And that deadly sibling comparison? About a sister/brother doing much better? The scars it leaves, are for life.
This discourse almost never has the intended effect of making them feel guilty, thereby responsible. The children just shut off, after awhile, to this Gyaan.
Instead, explain to your children, the necessity to do well, to the best of their abilities, in this competitive world. Have a realistic opinion and expectation of your child. Each child has one or more wondrous talents. It is up to you to figure it, ferret it out and polish it. Who said parenting was easy?
A good, solid preparation to ace the exams is needed. And this process should be enjoyable and not a hellish burden on the child.
Acing the exams shouldn’t be life’s only aim. Marks are not the be all and end all of life. A good character with an ability to face life is more important than anything else.
Because Life is a continuous Test requiring a courageous demeanor and constant updating of combating skills.
It all starts with you mother! Groom them! Make your children, Life Ready!