I’m back with another open letter to you guys. Seriously! No one reads these open letters anymore. It is time, they got a closure.
Anyway, let me not digress as I am wont to. Sometime back, there was a mail with the breaking news of blogging contest in a parental forum. ‘Having a Baby Changes Everything’. I quick glanced it and got back to work. But in the background, a process was running furiously.
The mind was ticking/mulling/thinking – Did it really change me? Did I undergo a sea change?
Did the change happen at that precise moment, when the pee-stick gave me back two resounding lines and made me bawl my lungs out to all-round mortification?
Or did the change creep in quietly and slowly while I bloated like a whale the first time( Now I am a mini whale but that is besides the point. Stop sniggering at this instant, You two!) Or simply fed up with life, as a seven month pregger, bundled you, my first born into the car and jaunted off to Mussorie as your dad took over the steering?
Maybe it was that instant when the good doctors held you, my first-born as a lil piglet and walloped your bum or when the second-born (of course the most perfect newborn ever!) was presented grandly as a delicate pink rose bud, I fathomed?
Why? It did sink me when you, my first-born, my Scintillating-Sonny, as roly-poly four year old, refused any form of physical outdoor exercise and was the happiest playing with lego-sets at home? But surely I soared when the same ladoo grew up into a strapping six footer. Now you do deep trekking which requires great stamina! How times and situations change!
It did pinch terribly, when you my second-born, without an iota of sadness, sauntered off to school, on your first day. But then I was happy, you were settling in fast and winning hearts all over.
Did I not shed a thousand silent tears, when you, my second-born, my Darling-Dotty, teary-eyed and scared as a kitten, announce the first periods? You are growing up way too fast honey and it is a big bad world out there. My lil flower, I do hope I can succeed in making you strong enough to watch out for all the hyenas out there and sensible and generous enough.
Did my heart not break into a hundred pieces, when you, my Scintillating-Sonny, chose to leave home and make a mark on the world’s stage? You exulted far more at a hostel seat than at a college seat! It was the hardest thing to do, letting you go, cutting my apron-strings. But then I held on resolutely because that is the only way ahead.
And the heart preened and the Manva did a rain dance as Scintillating-Sonny notched up successes and the world loved Darling-Dotty.
when my event and Dotty, your event clashed yet I obsessed over yours, like a mother hen.
Let it be known that, you both drive me insane. Thanks to you kiddos, My BP has shot up by several notches. I am suspicious, I am beginning to sport a bald pate, the expensive giggly twelve year old wala hair cuts not withstanding. I can also pass off as the friendly neighborhood Santa thanks to my jiggly-wigglies!
But would I ever have it any other ways?
I’m a Mother till I’m boxed and I’m warning you guys, I will be watching you from the world above too. Yeah I’m going to heaven, First Class! No way in hell. So, no respite there too.
I finally wind up with these words ( That is the pattern – I Praise, I then Castigate, then give the finishing touches by giving you some Ceolho worthy Gyaan)
I sincerely hope that I have been able to pass onto you what my parents have taught me. I can only fervently pray that you achieve all that you dream and more – That I was scared even to think of.
BTW, Dad also feels the same for all the above. I made him say so! Remember he is 50% responsible for all the mayhem that got unleashed.
Your (S)mothering Amma/Mom