Out of my comfort zone

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

A wise person would define ‘Comfort Zone‘ as a situation where one feels safe or at ease or is a settled method of working that requires little effort and yields only barely acceptable results.

Comfort zone is solely dependent on how ambitious one is. The more ambitious you are, the bigger your dreams are and the farther you push your envelope. You are always up for a challenge.

As Robert Frost said, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Sometimes  our dreams take a lifetime to fructify simply because they are just so big. Which inherently translates to no settling down to laurels but stretching the boundaries of accomplishments.

Success is never easy nor is it ever handed on a platter. Many a sweat and tears have to be shed, many helping hands have to be coaxed to pitch in. And if you are lucky, many shoulders will come forward to propel you ahead, by giving you the courage and wise counsel as and when needed, because they are convinced in your dream, your toil, your potential. 

Thinking out of the box  makes it  a winning show. And it is eternal..

It is vexing!!

Many a time, we are faced with this existential dilemma of “What exactly am I doing? Do I have it in me, still? Should I hang up my boots? Why do I even bother?”

At that emasculating moment, just smell the coffee, keep the faith and remember – bigger the success story, greater is the toil, because nothing comes easy. It is just that we don’t see the sweat, tears, fears  or the toiling team behind the gloss.

Apart from zeal and determination, comfort zone depends on contentment. If one is contented and at peace with one’s station in life, nothing else matters.

Yes, Zindagi badi hone chahiye, ho sake to lambi bhi!

So then keep walking.  You have only fear to fear 😀

The woods are lovely dark n deep

I have miles to go before I weep or sleep

The slate will be smudged and coloured with revamped compositions

A long look at reflection with all its imperfections

But I have promises to keep, before I sleep

comfort

Fresh Beginnings

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It is that time of the year, yet again. The night before Holi.

As I watch the raging fire, I wonder about the three things that I would like burn this weekend.

My angst,  my anger, my loss of faith! So the willful mind begins to meander.

On any given day, one will find me shuffling along, on the dirt tracks of Lodhi Gardens. Most often, I sit at the foot steps of the tomb, watching the artists work, hoping to find peace.

They say, the mausoleums bring solace to the searching and tired. But even here, I am restless. Nothing fills this terrible vacuum.

Eventually, I drag myself back to my place. I cannot even call that. Just empty brick walls which remind me of you every second and the laughter that once filled these spaces!

Mechanically, I finish the daily humdrum and go to work. I’m always the first to report and last to leave. I work till I drop. Someone reminds me it is time to eat. I nod and continue. One thing is for sure. Out of sheer ennui, even the polite and kind social graces have begun to dry up. Also I’m flagged out of most of the happening soirees.

How long can one try?  

I come back to sleep only when I am barely able to stand.

These days, I use only the crowded public transport but I still feel all alone in the entire world. I want to scream my lungs out but the words don’t come out. Do you know how it is to feel lonesome in a crowd? That droning drowning sound of silence in your ears when there is babbling cacophony around? 

It wasn’t always like this. I  had you – my loving wife  and our beautiful daughter. Our  perfect family! We made just enough to let our lives bloom.

And then on one fine day, I decided to surprise you with a car on your birthday. You were ecstatic and the pure joy in your eyes made you all the more irresistible. I promised myself I would show you how I felt, later that night. But first we had to take the car for a spin. Daughter  jumped into the backseat clapping and singing. You,  my wife, sat next to me. You looked specially beautiful in your red sari. As I sped, I turned to take in your beauty, to give you a quick peck and BAMMM

I never saw the truck ramming into us. All I remember was the car spinning and my blackening out. And just like that, in a flash, everything was finished. I was left to bear the painful brunt. That has been my singular reference point of self-loathe! 

I destroyed my ephemeral heaven with my own hands and created a permanent hell.

But for my momentary lapse of concentration, You would be there with me right now. Everyone says,”Stop blaming yourself. It was all destined. You cannot do anything about it.”

What do they know? Were they there in my seat?

The elders constantly deliberate marriage for me.

Don’t they know that the living dead have nothing to share or give.

Your love, my love, holds me hostage to the memories we have made. With all my willpower, I try to inhale. I barely breathe!

So I just bide my time. May be just maybe, I will find my miracle, my saviour!. 

Till Then…It is my cross to bear!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

Nine Months

 

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‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative forIndian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

My dear (would be)Mom and Dad,

Apparently, Marty Rubin said “Seize the day, then let it go.”!!

And Dad, you  took this feel-good-statement so seriously that I have just 9 more months to make my entry into this big bad world! Just imagine!!

Not that I am not happy at my highly immaculate conception, but seriously dad, what were you thinking?

I am definitely going to add to your overheads, big time! You cannot find a pair of matching socks dad. How are you going to burp me, change me, bathe me?

Yes! you need to do all of those! This is 2017, remember?  So all tasks of a home are to be shared! I may be tiny but I definitely won’t be a small case!!  Big task ahead!

Start saving dad.

Mom keeps staring at those blue lines on her pee-stick!  Not easy to figure out whether she is happy or sad! Is she worried about her work pressure, deadlines or the changes that will happen in her life, body and mind?  She smiles already!

Dad, it is time to reassure mom, that all will turnout fine and you are there for her! The entire way!!

Mom, I promise that I won’t trouble you one bit and I will grow healthy so long as you eat right and exercise regularly. I just have nine months mom, to be safe and sound in your warm womb, away from the worries of the world. There is no acrimony, hostility or bad blood in here. Your love keeps me protected dear mom and nine months is all I have, to develop into the apple of your eye.

So let me make most of it dear mom and dad. All this emotional outpouring has made me very tired and drowsy. I think, I will rest for a while.

May I request you to not disturb me for today?

Yours

Tiny Speck