Coffee Waale


On any wintry evening, the fave activity of our family is “Chalo Coffee Peeke aate!

That my friend is an open invitation to trouble. Because my pal, we do not stick to the tried and tested coffee joints as we are forever on an expedition to discover newer places.

Okay! What is the problem in that?‘ You might ask!

See my friend, first that scary looking menu. I haven’t yet reached the mind-boggling RHS of the menu card. The prices mentioned there are enough to buy a couple ofĀ  Happy-Meals. And here we get tiny samplers. Grin and bear!

Down South from where I come, Coffee is either Instant or Filtered. And if it is filtered it has be BRUed ( šŸ˜€Ā  couldn’t resist that PJ ) Plus at the rate printed in that honourableĀ menu, we could get a wedding party drunk on Kaapi

Now in these modern parlours of ‘(S)He Brews’, this humble brown concoction is divided into many mindboggling nomenclatures.

Screen Shot 2017-12-19 at 8.49.34 PMĀ Ā Screen Shot 2017-12-19 at 8.49.52 PM

Firstly, the smartly attired and English speaking Coffee Machine Handlers, hand you out that utterly captivating and colourful menu. Then when you look quizzical and terribly pained, unable to fathom as the English words begin to swim at you as Greek and Latin,Ā  they tch-tch you mentally. Boy, you should see the pitiful looks they dish out. How dare these village hicks raid our pristine joints. Then they deign to explain the options, slowly and clearly, enunciatingĀ every single syllable, till you sport a comprehending look.

Then comes the hideous part! The types of beans to be blended for your cuppa poison and their perfect percentage so that the beans don’t clash but produce a harmony.

Coffea Arabica orĀ Coffea canephora orĀ Robusta! Phew!

After many robust trials and tribulations, I have come to the conclusion. I simply order my Cappucino with utter confidence and add four sachets of brown sugar ( šŸ˜€ Yup, you read it right! ). Make all the right noises, swirl the poison appreciatively, finish the contents soon enough and head out nodding! Did I forget mentioning Instagramming?

Life is sorted!

Mocha Nahin ChodhnaĀ Nahin to Latte Khaoge!

Marriage, Man and Mandir

A marriage of the year, Man on a sea-plane, Mandir beckons the Prince-Elect!

After what seemed aeons ( Would you believe it was just 49 days! The all-around, no-holds-barred vitriol was the actual culprit ), the curtains came down finally on the poll campaign, in the birthplace of the Mahatma. As the protagonists in this curtain raiser to the final act in 2019, sat at home, bone tired, nursing their fave poisons, mulling over their chances, they wondered if they had played their cards right. Also the moot point was did they do enough to secure their place at the poll hustings?

Some snippets –
Male-Alpha: I am the man with a plan, closed it big with my heroics on a sea-plane. They have to remember my smiling and waving visage, in crisp Khaddar, as I hung on oh so casually to the hanger. That will do Gujarat! That will do. You have been thy model to flaunt around. Always! Now bring me home.
Mom’s Prince in waiting: Iā€™m almost the king! Only a tiny matter of a pending coronation. With Zabardast results that I predict, I will soon be singing a new RaGa. I have hit all the Mandirs with a vengeance. Our Minority-Appeasers tag will be shed ASAP and we will find favour with the Majority. Religion is the opium of the masses, you see!
Man in a video: This is a conspiracy. Please donā€™t sex it up and make me the fall-guy.
Man in the Muffler: We are watching! Like a Hawk!
Man on the road: They said development is around the corner and that fancy corner has just been a Mirage. I have had enough with my trysts with destiny. Now I get my voice to tell the world what I actually feel. I will certainly make sure. A Make-in-India, gone sour? Or did Demonetization and GST actually make a difference? Time will tell.

While all this churning happened in the protagonists’ minds, the rest of India, went cuckoo over the Wedding of the Year. Tired as we were of Murder, Maan-Haani, Mayhem, Morals, and Meandering Politics, the much-splashed pictures of this Marriage became our esoteric escape.
What is not to love here? Two highly talented Middle-class youngsters, who hit the top spot in their respective fields through sheer hard-work, who then decided to formalise their love, on an equal footing. Excellent role models for the next-gen. Enough to the warm the cockles of even the hardened!

A nicer note to end a mid-week! Amen!!