Coffee Waale

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On any wintry evening, the fave activity of our family is “Chalo Coffee Peeke aate!

That my friend is an open invitation to trouble. Because my pal, we do not stick to the tried and tested coffee joints as we are forever on an expedition to discover newer places.

Okay! What is the problem in that?‘ You might ask!

See my friend, first that scary looking menu. I haven’t yet reached the mind-boggling RHS of the menu card. The prices mentioned there are enough to buy a couple of  Happy-Meals. And here we get tiny samplers. Grin and bear!

Down South from where I come, Coffee is either Instant or Filtered. And if it is filtered it has be BRUed ( 😀  couldn’t resist that PJ ) Plus at the rate printed in that honourable menu, we could get a wedding party drunk on Kaapi

Now in these modern parlours of ‘(S)He Brews’, this humble brown concoction is divided into many mindboggling nomenclatures.

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Firstly, the smartly attired and English speaking Coffee Machine Handlers, hand you out that utterly captivating and colourful menu. Then when you look quizzical and terribly pained, unable to fathom as the English words begin to swim at you as Greek and Latin,  they tch-tch you mentally. Boy, you should see the pitiful looks they dish out. How dare these village hicks raid our pristine joints. Then they deign to explain the options, slowly and clearly, enunciating every single syllable, till you sport a comprehending look.

Then comes the hideous part! The types of beans to be blended for your cuppa poison and their perfect percentage so that the beans don’t clash but produce a harmony.

Coffea Arabica or Coffea canephora or Robusta! Phew!

After many robust trials and tribulations, I have come to the conclusion. I simply order my Cappucino with utter confidence and add four sachets of brown sugar ( 😀 Yup, you read it right! ). Make all the right noises, swirl the poison appreciatively, finish the contents soon enough and head out nodding! Did I forget mentioning Instagramming?

Life is sorted!

Mocha Nahin Chodhna Nahin to Latte Khaoge!

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