One Night

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

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11:22 PM. 8 minutes to go before the cabbie arrived at the gate. I quickly gulped down the sticky Maggie, put some clothes, checked my purse for money, grabbed my phone.

11:28 PM  2 minutes to go before the cabbie arrived at the gate. I sprinted down, tucking my shirt in, hoping to be there at the gate, before the cabbie. I couldn’t bear his accusatory tone, if I was late.

11:30 PM Paradise regained. Rupa was in the cab and so was Sonali. In 30 minutes, it was Rupa’s birthday. I was hoping to get her nod tonight. I had spent a packet on a ring to gift Rupa and seal the bond.

Rupa smiled warmly. A good omen! Sonali smirked. Nothing unusual. The cabbie revved up. He was in a hurry. As he sped on the bustling roads, braking at will and barely managing to avoid colliding into vehicles.

Rupa became nervous. She slipped her fingers into mine and held onto them. Smirking Sonali, let go at the cabbie, who slowed down momentarily and stuck to his original speed. As we turned into a lane, BAMM! The cabbie managed to bang into a pizza delivery guy, who flew into air on impact. To avoid hurting him further, the cabbie swerved and crashed into a tree.

1:00 AM Rupa wokeup, to see the mayhem around. Air-bags had saved the cabbie. But he was unconscious. Sonali sat rubbing her head. mumbling something incoherently in Marathi. Her man, seemed to have passed out too, though fingers were still entwined. There is this persistent mooing sound. They were in a no-network patch.

1:30 AM Rupa shookher man and Sonali. The man was stirring. So he wasn’t dead. They both comforted each other and came out slowly to check the mayhem. They  flashed  their mobiles to see the extent of damage. The pizza delivery guy was no where to be found. They searched under the vehicle, over the cab. No sign of the guy. But the mooing was now loud and clear. To their utter horror, they saw one horn of a buffalo sandwiched between the bumper and the tree. The Buffalo wasn’t hurt but shocked.

2:00 AM Sonali shook the driver, who slowly resurfaced. He got down to see the bonnet smashed up. And they all heard some feeble sounds coming from the tree. As they all craned their necks to see, they could make out the outline of the pizza delivery boy. The impact had landed him on the top branches and he was moaning. Except the cabbie no one knew how climb trees except the driver, who wasn’t exactly in shape to do so. The mooing was getting stronger. The buffalo was now petrified. They all gathered and somehow managed to push the cab away from the tree, enough for the buffalo to move away. The moment it wriggled, one horn that was sandwiched broke into half and the buffalo ran away.

3:00 AM The ladies, the cabbie and the man were now petrified. What if a crowd gathered and beat them to pulp. But they couldn’t leave the pizza delivery guy, up the wall. How about shaking the tree? The pizza guy continued to moan.

3:15 AM the cabbie somehow dragged himself up and helped the pizza delivery guy down. As they all gathered, firstly they wolfed down an entire pizza and then started walking ahead. Till they found help.

As the day broke, both the cab and the scooter were towed away. Everyone got a day to recover.

And as the day ended a one horned buffalo was trending. Nobody knew what happened.

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Rain

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

It was the pitter patter sound that woke Simran up. The sound of steady fall of water droplets, on her glass window,

The rain seemed to come down in sheets. Everything was wet, washed  and the leaves actually looked fresh and green.

This particular shade of green was something she had seen, way back in time, when she was carefree, young and deeply in love.

A period of time, when Simran used to hop onto a local to Lonavala, to trek the Western Ghats along with the love of her life, Raj, and the incessant rain would caress her curves while the mesmerizing greenery would intoxicate her.

Her utterly smitten Raj would share hot cups of masala chai with his Simran as they bundled together, quivering and shivering.

Simran Verma stole a glance towards her husband, Raj Verma, snoring away, utterly unmindful of the beauty of nature, dancing right in front of him, and sighed wistfully.

Her mobile sprang to life. ” MemSaab, Not coming for work today. It is raining cats and dogs”.

The phone was disconnected even before Simran could utter a word.

“Oh these bloody bloody *&^%* rains!!”

Oh Blimey

sochAnd the ping came as innocuously as ever – “The article is due on..”. The red heart at the end, did not make it any less ominous though. Phew!

With the deadline hanging on her head like a Damocles sword, a worried AJ then sat with her new valentine gift – (A blue pen! First it was a laptop, then a phone and now it was back to demonetized basics)- hoping that enthralling words would find their way across to the paper in front. Was she gonna present a ‘white paper’? What would she write about?

Darling-Dotty, who was on her 15th short break from studies, walked in with her ukulele, promising to belt out a mind churner. AJ was now stricken. Darling-Dotty took pity on her mater and suggested kindly, “Why don’t you write about tests, Mom? A very in topic these days. You see, everything is a test for someone, somewhere!” Oh! deeper words never mouthed!

Can you elaborate more honey?” AJ half-interestedly answered, lest the dotty wandered off into a “You never pay any attention to what I say, You neither hear nor listen” diatribe

Dotty went full throttle. “Well mom, you see, like the valentine’s day was an acid test for the brave-hearted lovers. Those who got the answer in affirmative, are now wondering if they have been hasty.  Did they make the right choice at all?

Or take the case of Small_Aunty! She thought she could by-pass the long hand of the law and was in a tearing hurry to be the reigning queen. How the tables have turned! By a twist of Karmic  justice, she finds herself Bangaloored.

In a few days, many children, will find themselves getting tested to check if they have mastered the rote art. Their moms are going ballistic with an ‘Atlas Shrugged’ visage and demeanor. All social agenda is on a pause mode because Pappu has to pass. Hopefully the almonds consumed by the kilos, would fetch some grades!

Mom, are you with me? I caught you dozing. Don’t say you were paying attention!

AJ wearily countered “Honey, stay on track!

Darling_dotty ploughed on, “ Yeah, what was I saying? The populous state of our our holy land is now privy to a budding bromance, between two good sons. Will this new Jai-Veeru bond will last the test of time and power? Destiny will answer. Will the Alpha-Male find the going tough, now that trash cash was just a poll scheme rehash? What fate awaits the Muffler-Man’s Broom? As I ..

Dear Dotty, you have an exam tomorrow and you are really testing my patience. Have you finished your course? Are you even aware of your syllabus? ” AJ was worked up with so many details thrown at her.

Mom, you worry about my passing mere tests while you fail to see that I can study life and give an adept and cogent analysis. BTW, What’s for dinner?

And Dotty leaving behind her worldview perspective, scooted to safety, to get back to her rote learning while AJ wondered whether her write-up would find any takers, if she would pass the test.

Hope floats…

Honest Opinions Needed please

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I have recently started writing a blog series, in ‘Author Speak’, at Readomania.

This was the first, in this series. Please do read and let me know your opinions about this piece.

Much appreciate 🙂

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http://www.readomania.com/author-speak-view/anupama_jain,97

 

Let us Mock, Stalk & Quarrel

15111089_1167050083364261_1330858925931304118_oA wikipedia would define Satire as a genre of literature in which the vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings of individuals, corporations, government, or society are held up to ridicule, ideally hoping for an improvement. A feature of satire is strong irony or sarcasm. Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, it’s greater purpose is constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society.

We are seeing some solid society churning. In such times, a true writer uses the pen to echo the turmoil around.

When the mere wax figures  masquerade as role models to the ignorant and fawning believers, 

when goddesses mull over festering sores of deep-rooted gender inequalities, 

The domestic drivels or the mismanaged familial relationships or the idiosyncrasies of our daily humdrum,

When knowledge acquisition suffers a collateral damage as you go chasing degrees, 

When even after 70 years of independence, an MP has no Locus Standi, 

When a death in search of fame doesn’t even merit a footnote in the daily rags,

When the age old biases exist to debilitate and stunt,

When it becomes a herculean task to find a noble prince or a malleable maid,

When Gods are slotted, reservations are resisted and blood needs to be proved,

When it is not fair to be dark and the government becomes our matrix,

When miracles or god-(wo)men defy logic or a tail becomes a frenzied tale …

It is then time to get to work, wield that acerbic pen and whip up a torrid storm.

These are the prevalent, pertinent issues, screaming for a platform to be showcased so that there could be a change, albeit slowly.

There are two ways to go about this.

Either one pontificates or playfully delivers a sledgehammer.

The second option is always,  in my humble opinion, more effective because it softens the blow while making one chuckle and also circumspect.

Sarcasm always works because humor helps you cope, think and if possible…act!!

Edited by Indrani Ganguly, Mock, Stalk and Quarrel, a collection of satirical stories,  pokes fun at all the seemingly insurmountable, deep-set issues of today.

Short story format is apt for such an endeavor as the restless world around expresses the feelings in 140 characters. Everything is insta and happening!

So short and snappy is catchy.

It is our way of wanting a tangible change.

Together, we could and we did.

I’m extremely proud to be associated with this ‘Must-Read-One-Of-A-Kind-Satirical-Anthology’ and invite you to pick your copy at this URL.. 

http://amzn.in/7AQZ2VW

Abide with us -The Magical 29 

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maid

It was past seven, way past the time, Mona was supposed to be home.

Each time the bell rang, I went running to the door, only to discover it was someone else. With a sinking feeling,

I rang up the neighbors, security.

Nobody had seen her. I was stricken now.

I was down in the dumps when the bell rang again..

‘kya ri Mona? subah subah itna der kar dete ho. Sab ko tayaar hoke jaana hain, sink bhar ke bartan hain!’

I let go at her.

She walked in with a cheeky smile, confident that she would be pacified later with malai masala chai.

I followed meekly with a silent prayer on my lips and a song in my heart..

Yippee its a great day.

Go Green? Makes me see red really!!

These days I am constantly told that conserving the environment and protecting our planet must be a civil society’s number one priority, people should want to make a difference and live greener lives.

However ‘Go Green’ is always a scary slogan for me. It kind of rhymes with Mo-clean and makes me scurry around with mop and mope till I drop.

We keep hearing that we are but caretakers of this legacy of mother earth, that we need to pass it on to our children.

As they say, child is the father of man and the children have it taken it upon themselves to educate us all about green earth. The amount of poster work that gets done to ram this singular point across is no one’s business.

Err about the numbers of trees that went into making those papers.. Well, never mind. That’s a different point

Mind you, I have done my share of home work, finding all about sustainable living and the ways I could reduce my carbon imprint. Here’s what I found.

Wise ones have already laid out few commandments for greener lives

1) Think and shop – Whoever said Sale is a four lettered work, couldn’t be more wrong. NCR with its unpredictable seasons needs constant wardrobe update. How does one think green in such cupboard defining moments?

2) Taking care that the big electronic purchases are environmental friendly and have enough star credentials – To be frank, the first and foremost thing, I worry about is how wallet friendly is my purchase. The government should make sure that India doesn’t become the dumping ground  for iffy and dated technologies.

3) Ditch the plastic – If I do that, how do I line my trash can? How do I store stuff in my fridge or carry my drinking water?

4) Pay attention to labels and boycott products that endanger wildlife and me – Easier said than done that. Have you seen that tiny minuscule print at the back? Impossible to read without an industrial scale magnifier!

5) Green your home. Choose renewable energy – All right where is the sunlight ? The match boxes that we live in, have been specially designed by the architects to make sure that hardly any light comes through. The tiny homes have fewer spaces for greenery too. We need greener homes at affordable prices.

6) Be water wise. Bathe with buckets. Wash clothes less frequently and use less water for dishes – Yeah right! If and when water does come out of those taps, these diktats could be followed. Itches, rashes and dysentry be damned.

7) Then the segregation of waste – By the time the maids understand and implement, armageddon would be here.

8) Drive less, drive green – Public transportation? Ok show me a safer mode of transportation, than my own car, where I wont be pawed, gaped at. Alarmed with the smog levels, the Delhi Government did come up with the 15 days of odd even vehicles experiment. Women didn’t feel the heat as they were exempted. Next time they aren’t going that lucky. There are  no safe cycle tracks if one needs to do short distance travel.

9) Have a Green Diwali – Just imagine this festival without the ear splitting noise of crackers or smog inducing Anars!! Only simple diyas and no more ‘De Dabba Le Dabba’ drives. Cuts down vehicular pollution you see. Eeks! fie on these green monsters

10) Choose to have a smaller family. I like this the best !  Amen to that!

On a serious note, people would love to lead greener lives. It’s just that, it is too time consuming and there aren’t enough services that help people make the right choices.

As technology becomes more user centric, there will be a difference.

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